Meet the bosses
Two cats with no credentials, no references and a remarkable amount of confidence. They will be judging you now.
Ginger & white
Shams
Chief Executive of Unsolicited Opinions
Shams believes every closed door is a personal insult and every open one is a trap. Runs the household on vibes, volume and a strict 4am breakfast policy.
- Naps per day
- 14
- Doors opposed
- All
- Qualifications
- 0
Known for
- Screaming at 4am
- Sitting on laptops mid-meeting
- Hostile takeovers of warm laundry
Opposed to
- Closed doors
- The vacuum
- Being perceived while eating
White, ginger hat
Alam
Head of Silent Judgment
Alam communicates through slow blinks and long silences. Has never been surprised by anything. Considers enthusiasm a character flaw and Shams a long-running HR issue.
- Slow blinks
- ∞
- Fur on black clothes
- Yes
- Patience
- Low
Known for
- Staring at walls with intent
- Disappearing for six hours
- Approving nothing
Opposed to
- Loud noises (Shams)
- Change of any kind
- Your playlist
Rivals by day. Co-workers by nap.
They disagree about everything except your pet, who needs to hear the truth.
Submit your pet for review